Trailer parks, senior living facilities, and blue-collar bars are ghost towns today, as people line up in droves to gamble buy their way into a half-billion dollar fortune. It’s an interesting phenomena, and one that I’m pretty pessimistic about given the odds. Still, I’ve put together my list of How I Would Spend My Winnings, were I to a) play, and b) have the 1 winning ticket.
Note: were I to a) play, and b) have the 1 winning ticket, consider everything I write from this point on rescinded.
- First, I would take the lump sum. That takes about $192M off the table, leaving me with $448M
- This amount would be the highest tax bracket, so Uncle Sam will take 35%, or $157M.
- 10% of the gross set aside for charity. And, to have a Bingo Parlor named after me. That’s another $64M
Wow. So before I spend one dollar on myself, that $640M windfall is down to a “paltry” $227M. Clearly, I’m more inclined to vote Republican now.
Fearful of becoming a sad refrain on an A&E episode of “Lottery Losers”, I’m hiring a boatload of financial advisors to squirrel most of the money away into conservative investments and trusts for immediate family. Let’s say $200M is apportioned for that.
That leaves $27M in mad money. Spending like a rap star, here’s how it goes down:
- Bills. There aren’t many, but it’ll be fun writing those checks.
- $1M each to parents and siblings, $250k to uncles, aunts & 1st cousins. All cash, delivered via a brand new car of my choice. Probably a Ford model, cuz I’m feeling very Buy American. Especially since I’m playing with money from about 639,999,999 suckers.
- Design and build a new house. No wait, a compound. Yeah. Fortunately for me, real estate prices are still in the toilet, and $5M will basically buy me half of the village I live in.
- A few more homes: Seattle, Chicago, New York? Maybe brand them Starwood properties too, just for grins.
- Cars. Pick a brand that offers a solid sport car/convertible, sedan and SUV. I’m thinking Porsche, just because the Panamera is so polarizing. And I’ve got enough bank now to polarize anybody I want.
I think that would just about do it, leaving a couple million in the checking accounts, and investment income of at least $7M a year for life.
But that’s if I were to buy a ticket. And be the sole winner.
Nah, just thinking about it was enough. I’m good with my life as it is.