Pope Benedict’s Top 10 To Do List

10. Update LinkedIn profile to “exploring new opportunities”
9. Call former US Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney. Laugh maniacally.
8. Head to New York for a real pizza
7. Buy a TV, find out what a Honey Boo Boo is
6. Finally get that Virgin Mary tattoo
5. Change Facebook status to “Single” from “Married…to God”
4. Poke Betty White
3. Reconsider Dancing with the Stars invite
2. Dump Vatican-issued Blackberry for “something less evil”
1. Gym, Tan, Laundry.