This year has been a roller coaster on many levels, most notably family illnesses and personal relationships. I find myself daily looking back to a year ago, trying to fathom how life can change so quickly to the trials and heartbreak we are going through.
But I have faith. I truly do. And it’s not just a faith that the answers I seek will be made true. But rather a faith that believes God, in his infinite wisdom, has a plan for all of us through this.
On a personal front, if I were honest I’d admit that I wish I could go back a year, or even just 3 months. Try to change things, do things differently, be different. Yet, there is a hard fought joy in me today, despite it all. Because I’ve realized that there is nothing I can do to change the course of circumstances, to soften hearts, to open eyes. There is a genuine relief in me, knowing that my future is literally not in my fumbling, bumbling, imperfect hands. I frankly have to turn to my Father and ask Him to hear my prayers and answer them. In the meantime, I can hope for a sign, something. My own Christmas Miracle.
And so I welcome this Christmas morning like no other I have experienced. Because I not only celebrate the birth of my Savior, my Redeemer. But I also celebrate the promise I have in him. And I thank Him for my children, my family, my co-workers and friends.