No I’m Not Okay. And That’s Alright.

Let me start by saying that this is not a Pity Post. I don’t do those. Often.

Rather, this is a testimony of the great things happening in my life. You may not see it yet. I may not see it yet. But it’s happening. Always. Because that’s what survivors/overcomes/Democrats believe and expect. #Fact.

So can I tell you something? Sometimes Life just stinks. Tragedy occurs. Startups flame out. Relationships turn cold/bitter/litigious. Career paths hit rough pavement. Starbucks orders get messed up. The Heat lose in 5 games (not so bad). It feels as though all manner of ill will has been wished upon you. The story of Job comes to mind, and you imagine yourself in his shoes, especially without the Internet. #Trooper.

In times like these a certain amount of introspection is warranted – we are, after all, fallible creatures prone to doing stupid, selfish, short-sighted things. But once you’ve that forgiveness/redemption catharsis out of the way, the focus should be on moving forward with no looking back. #LessonsLearned

Through it all, I’m still here. Still smiling. Still praising. With more joy and happiness than I’ve had in a very long time. Keep in mind that I’m not even supposed to be alive today – complications after birth, a year-long battle with pneumonia at 17, and 5 years ago hospitalized for what the doctors believe was a bird flu variant. Frankly, any day above ground has its plusses. But it gets even better. In very specific order, the secrets to my optimism are…

God. Yep, He is in control. A few years ago I would say the same thing, but if I were honest (which I’m trying to be) it was more a saying than a belief. There were so many of my own resources I could avail myself of that my need to truly believe, to rely, were kinda squishy. Today, I know that everything I have at my disposal is His for the giving and not from anything I’ve done. And He is ultimately able to make sense of everything. I can tell you that I’m more at peace with everything in my life when I give Him charge of than when I spend time trying to figure things out. It’s like a drowning man struggling against not just the waves but also the person trying to save them. I let go and let God.

Family. I’m blessed with the most wonderful parents, siblings, and relatives. Individually, we have our unique personalities, quirks, and idiosyncrasies. Collectively, you won’t find a stronger family bond than ours. #Truth. Over the years we’ve shared joy and laughter, offered prayer and support, and provided needed buttresses against various circumstances that would try to put us under. My love for my family has no end, and I know I’m very fortune to have them.

Friends. It’s true that, in difficult times, you test the depth of your friendships. Many I felt were more substantive than Facebook haven’t been. Thankfully, what I’ll call my Bedrock Friends have enjoined themselves to me in such a fabulous way that I’ve never experienced more connections that have left me both humbled and WP_20140617_010energized. You know who you are. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. #Gratitude

me. Notice that I didn’t capitalize the ‘m’? I wasn’t sure how to express this without going all Gloria Gaynor, and thought this would help me emphasis that this isn’t about some Tony Robbins-esque digging deep within, pulling one’s self up by bootstraps or any such talk. Just those basic survival instincts that can help build a bridge across whatever chasm life’s journey introduces. If nothing else, that little glimmer of hope you have just may the beacon through which others see your distress and come to aid.

Phew. That was alot. To everyone who has asked, has wanted to ask, or has asked someone else to ask me. Yes, it’s a difficult period. One I truly would not wish on my worse enemy. But I’m going to be alright.